What is something that everyone has? Well, there are literally quite a number of things we each have in common but for the purpose of this blog, we will go with : An opinion
In the spirit of opinions, Christina and Drew give their own thoughts about the latest PowHERtalks event in Sechelt, finding out that they each had their own different ''lightbulb" moment.
Do you think that one sentence can change your life? I do. In many ways, time and again, one idea or one simple thought that we stumble across can change our behaviour; it can make us think and move in a new direction.
Last Saturday I spent my afternoon in Sechelt, BC at a female focused TED style talk that is heading across Canada called PowHERtalks. I was a speaker at the inaugural event in Nanaimo a few weeks before (See That Blog Here) but for this one, I had the luxury of only participating as an audience member and with Praxis as a proud sponsor. And what an opportunity it was.
Eighteen women sharing their perspectives through the lens of their professional and personal selves. They shared information, inspiration and ideas woven through the stories of their lives. I learned and grew and was inspired in many ways that day, but ironically it was one simple sentence that may have had the greatest impact. And it was a sentence that I myself had said aloud many times before, but hearing it come from someone else in that moment and on that day has shaped me.
I was listening with intention but my mind turned to action when I felt that one speaker speak directly to me – Tara Roden, Head Gold Professional at the Blue Ocean Gold Club.
Tara spoke about the importance of choosing words carefully to write your own story. “Be aware of the words you use,” she said. When she said this I felt like my head literally snapped up and to attention. Just that morning I was speaking with my amazing six year old daughter. I was telling her that when she says “I can’t,” that she won’t, and when she says “I can” that likely, she will. This wasn’t the first time her and I had had this conversation and it wouldn’t be the last. My daughter is a very sweet and easy-going girl; she takes life as it comes. Great, right? Absolutely and sometimes No – Absolutely, in that she the happiest person I know and she rarely sweats the small stuff, and No in that people in her life often walk right over her. As her mom, it’s my job to prop her up and give her the tools that she’ll need to navigate life as adult. That’s my job. My intention in telling her about “I can’t” and “I can” that morning was not to change her (she’s perfect just the way she is, because that’s who she is) but rather to give her an awareness of how the words we use inside and outside of our heads shape our perspective.
So, Tara and I were on the same page – but with one major difference. I was telling my daughter everything I thought she needed to know on the subject – but was I walking my talk? Was I setting the best example? Was I living up to the expectation I placed on my child? Not always. Those doubts and self-depreciating comments creep into my brain more often that I’d care to admit. Sitting there listening to Tara, I wondered how good I was at batting those limiting thoughts away before speaking them out loud? I wasn’t sure of the answer, but I did resolve myself to paying attention to my own “I cant’s” and “I cans” going forward. In fact, given Tara’s golfing focus, I imagined myself grabbing my nine iron and smacking every “Can’t” that creeps into my head into oblivion.
I went home that day full of ideas and with an expanded network or strong women but the most impactful lesson was one I already knew but needed to hear out loud that day.